My wife and I are close to celebrating our 3-year anniversary. Throughout these years, I have learned so much in our relationship that can also be applied to the workplace. Here are the 3 things I have learned.
Partnership Is Never 50/50
In the workplace, we form many partnerships or teams. We always want everything to be fair for everyone and expect each person to contribute equally all the time. But in reality, that’s not how things work. This is one of the biggest reasons for conflicts in the workplace—people don’t always do their part, and we are left feeling it’s unfair.
What I have learned in my marriage is that a person can’t always do their part. Sometimes it will be 40/60, and sometimes it might even be 20/80. But that’s what makes a good relationship, both in marriage and in the workplace.
When someone is low, we do more to uplift the relationship, and when we are low, the other person does the same for us. This blind trust builds strong relationships in both your personal and professional life.
Don’t Avoid Conflicts
Most of the time, conflict is a good thing. When people in a group genuinely care about the well-being of everyone else, they are more vocal about how they feel and how they want to do things.
This is perfectly normal.
Most of us, in both our personal and work lives, try to avoid conflicts, but I think we should do the opposite. We should be opinionated. We should talk more, not less. When we face a conflict, instead of addressing it, we often avoid it, pretend everything is fine, or worse, joke about it like it’s nothing.
Whenever we have a difference of opinion, our mind’s survival mode kicks in—the so-called fight or flight response—and most of the time we choose flight. Issues and discussions left unresolved will eventually surface elsewhere.
Instead of focusing on the betterment of the group, people start to lose hope of being heard. That being said, whenever you feel there is tension between you and your partner, whether at work or in your personal life, sit down and talk about how they feel, how you feel, and how you can work together to solve the issues at hand.
Getting the Deal Is Not the Goal
I have seen many couples who just wanted to get married, thinking that once they are married, everything will fall into place. That’s not how it works. After marriage, the real challenges and your ability to work together play a huge role in your day-to-day life.
Marriage is a full-time job. Marriage is not the goal—it’s the journey we enjoy that helps us explore the unknown.
The same thing happens at work all the time. We might get a deal and think that’s the target, but things don’t end there.
Once we get a deal, it becomes our responsibility to make sure our clients and consumers are happy and actually receiving the value we promised them.
Just like marriage is not the goal, getting a deal is not the goal. The goal is to ensure that after the deal is made, we see it through.
These are some of the things I have learned. What have you learned from your marriage that can apply to the workplace?